What is Gratitude?

It is an emotion that uses joy and is also a spontaneous response to joy when receiving something over and above what we paid for (Piper, 2001). Gratitude is meant to be a spur of the moment expression of pleasure in the gift and the good will of another. Gratitude was not meant to be an impulse to return favors (Piper, 2001). It is not wrong to be grateful when someone gives you something, but what may happen is that the feeling could turn into an impulse to owe something in return. What ends up happening then is that the act is no longer a gift and becomes a business transaction (Piper, 2001).

When we look back on our lives we need to show intense and joyful gratitude for all the amazing lessons in life. Gratitude can be a humble and happy response to the good will of someone who has done you a favor. Just like my neighbor who was kind enough to drop off some flowers to my door during this physical distancing. I also feel gratitude for all of God's wonder and his willingness to look after me during some very low times in my life.

Although being grateful can be difficult and hard to maintain at times, did you know that having a more grateful heart is something we can work towards. From a science perspective people can vary in their level of gratitude by testing it using the Gratitude Survey, created by Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons. The survey measures how high or low your level of gratitude is. Depending on the score results, evidence-based tools are suggested to enhance an individual's score. For example, if you scored low which indicates low levels of gratitude you are encouraged to keep a diary indicating up to five things one is grateful for. After two weeks of engaging in this practice you are to take the Gratitude Survey again. Science has confirmed that you start to change your perspective and in affect change your score response (Seligman, 2013). Martin Seligman who is one of the pioneers of Positive Psychology explains that the "reason gratitude works to increase life satisfaction is that it amplifies good memories of the past," (Seligman, 2013).

I decided to try something that Dr. Seligman created for one of his class assignments; a gratitude night. I invited friends and family that had been very impactful during a very difficult time to come to my home on a particular evening. I even went as far as having a lovely and talented young lady create beautiful invitations and I had them mailed out. No one had any idea they were receiving this invitation and had no idea about the event. This was a true example of a spontaneous gift. Each invitation provided specific instructions to bring a significant other along with them for a night of spontaneous joy.

There was food and wine and gracious conversations, followed by a viewing of the Youtube video called The Science of Gratitude. I then proceeded to read a short paragraph about each person I had invited explaining the positive impact they had made in my life. I wanted them to feel how positive emotions can be created from reading something from the heart about them. Similar to, their significant other was there to experience it. I can honestly say that the experience was an amazing one and would encourage anyone to try and replicate the event with their own list of special people that have made a positive impact on them.

To recap here are some steps to experience gratitude:

1. Take the gratitude survey, life satisfaction or general happiness scale found at www.authentichappiness.org

2. Practice for two weeks up to five affirmations of what you are thankful for and redo the test to see if there is a change in your score

3. Invite some important people to celebrate and encourage them to bring their significant other. They should not know the reason why they are attending.

4. Allow your guests to share in your gratitude as you express from humility and authenticity why are you grateful for them. I can promise you there will not be a dry eye in the room.

Blessings to you

Julie