I Surrender

You probably never heard about the Japanese soldier who finally surrendered his sword 30 years after World War II ended. You see this individual defended his island territory for 29 years, "long after all his fellow soldiers had either surrendered or been killed off," (DeMoss, 2003). He hid in the jungle while living off the land, thinking that his responsibility was to continue to fight when all along the best years of his life had come and gone (DeMoss, 2003). It took time, energy, and even money to not only find him but convince him that the war was over. He still refused to give up his fight. Finally, on March 10, 1974, he handed over his rusty sword and surrendered, but at what cost?

Do you believe that every human being has an inborn determination to run their own life (Sincero, 2017)? When you want something so, so badly you work tirelessly to get it. You deserve it, you worked hard for it, but at what expense? If we don't surrender we end up pushing it away instead (Sincero, 2017). It is so difficult to release the grip of something you are so passionate about. Perhaps it's your fight to save your marriage, acquire that amazing job you have always wanted, or the dream of your son being drafted or given the scholarship opportunity to play hockey. Whose dream is it? Whose fight is it? Is it yours or someone else?

The decision to give up the fight is not an easy one; especially after years of determination, hours spent perfecting a craft, and/or thousands of dollars spent. There are two schools of thought when I think of surrendering. 1) Handing over the job to someone else, whether it be God or The Universe, or 2) Believing and having faith that someone else has your best interest at heart and will bring forth the best options for you; if you are willing. This means saying no to self and yes to God or The Universe.

What are your feelings right now? Are your shoulders starting to tense up or relax? Can you finally take a deep breath and release the tension and anxiety or is anger building up inside because you don't like the thought of something or someone else taking over? I get it because I was there at one point in my life. We all have "free-will" to think and do what we want, but the question you have to ask yourself is where has it gotten you in life? Surrendering does not mean that you give up or discontinue taking action (Sincero, 2017). It means to release energy and create space. It is allowing instead of forcing. There is a huge difference (Sincero, 2017).

Let me give you an analogy that has stuck with me for many years:

You set out on your sailboat: It is a beautiful day and the perfect scenario for a sail. Initially, your sails are tied down because there is not much wind so you chose to navigate the waters with the boat engine to get to where you want to go. However, the weather changes and the wind starts to pick up. As a result, the amount of energy and strain put on the engine increases, since the wind direction is pushing the boat North when you want to go South. What do you do? Continue to fight or surrender to the weather that is mightier than you? What would happen if you do?

You decide to turn off the engine and launch all sails. With the wind and sail engaging the boat moves smoothly through the water with ease and grace. No strain is put on the engine and the sails do their job beautifully. The end result is that the destination may not have been exactly where you wanted to go, but was pretty darn close and as a result, less strain put on the boat engine.

The moral of this story is that having the maturity and the strength to release and trust that if something you desire is in alignment with your life's purpose, it will come back to you. In this analogy, God or The Universe represented the wind. Having faith in a higher power means that "your faith in God or The Universe must be stronger than your fear of not getting what you want (Sincero, 2017). That is the biggest obstacle. You are your own party. You get to choose how to invite people and experiences and things into it (Sincero, 2017). It is about showing up every day with an excellent attitude, doing your best, leaning back, celebrating what is and steadily working with the grateful expectations and beliefs that God or The Universe is sending you a new, more abundant opportunity (Sincero, 2017).

How does one surrender? One of the challenges of complete surrender is the fear of the unknown (DeMoss, 2003). We may lose some things that the world considers valuable or essential (DeMoss, 2003). What God or The Universe gives you will be different than what has been given to someone else. You may have to give up some of the things you consider important in life (DeMoss, 2003). Perhaps you choose to forego a career to spend your life raising your family. Maybe you're are being asked to reduce your living expenses so you can give more generously to those that need it.

In my case, God has put on my heart and my husband to buy a hobby farm and create a retreat-like setting for first responders and their families working through the impact of PTSD. I want this so badly I can smell the fresh-cut grass, the ocean nearby, and the horse leather, but I also know it is extremely difficult to surrender our desires, dreams and wishes because of finances or the timing is not quite right. However: 1) We are crystal clear on what we desire, 2) we see it, feel it, taste it and have fallen in love with it, believing the hobby farm is out there waiting for us, 3) we have decided that it is going to happen 4) we have faith that God will provide the opportunity and 5) we pray, meditate, dream and envision every day on our happy place. When we believe that everything we desire already exists, we are in a natural state of surrender (Sincero, 2017). This is something you can do to.